So after some further research on FAA & AOPA sites:
* Sport pilot allows you and your doctor to decide if you're safe unless you have either gotten, been denied, or been yanked from a medical cert... BUT it's the FAA not your doctor who will enforce the rule.
* My condition and medication would get me denied as unsafe to fly by the FAA based on their guidance to medical examiners.
* Ergo, I can't assume that even if my doctor cleared me that the FAA wouldn't come down like a ton of bricks, yank my license, and possibly issue a fine for every time I've touched an airplane.
Unless someone can provide some evidence of actual people *openly* flying on sport pilot license with conditions like bipolar and ADHD and not getting in trouble with the FAA, I'm going to assume it's ultralights for me.
Thanks for your time, all!