You are quite correct Ray. There are risks while driving and there are risks when flying.
Managing risk while flying is much easier than while driving because so much is directly under the pilot's control, as you have indicated. Unfortunately, for the same reason, pilots have more opportunity to make bad choices. Using the common metrics, by time or distance travelled, driving ends up being the safer option, which further supports the hypothesis that pilots seem to be good at making bad choices.
If you get killed, it's because you caused it? I'm thinking if you don't get killed, it's also because you caused it. Flying is better but it does require some effort.