Anngray, I think you might be falling victim to a very common problem on internet discussion forums, which is that many people cannot write out their "tone" or emotions. So it becomes very easy to misjudge someone's underlying meaning. Also, on the internet, people write stuff before they fully think about it. Text is sometimes very difficult to read between the lines and "sense" whether someone is really being rude, or they just aren't very detailed in their writing.
I'm not saying that the other fellow was being rude, or polite, or right/wrong. I'm saying (from hard-knocks experience) that internet chatroom discussions require a different set of skills than airport hangar discussions, and people frequently wind up thinking, or saying, the wrong thing. Please trust me, I've been the good, the bad and the ugly on several of these aviation forums! I've made some serious mistakes in this area, and have paid the price for my errors and the errors of others.
On balance, and in fairness, the exact words you used to describe some of the speakers at the EAA meetings does make it sound like you were looking down your nose at them a little. Whether someone on this forum over-reacted, or misunderstood, does not change how it "sounded".
As usual, it turns out that everyone was right about one thing or another. EAA meetings can get boring, or stray far away from the original purposes of EAA, and some of the chapter members can be stand-off-ish or rude. But WW2 vets talking about air combat from first-hand experience is a treasure for younger generations, and this treasure won't be around much longer. So many chapters will go out of their way to take advantage of such a speaker whenever possible, and I don't think they're wrong for it.
The bottom line is that you (and I) have to be the agent of change in local chapters, not just be annoyed at the (obvious and plentiful) problems that chapters have.
Any time that you are looking to blast someone with both barrels (and the Derringer), feel free to point your keyboard square at me, I've been known to keep angry hordes of up to 10-12 internet pugilists at bay simultaneously