Subject: C&D instrument flying
Instrument Flying for Animal Lovers
Having detailed the concept of attitude control, there is
another method which you may prefer. For reasons that will
become apparent, it is recommended for those pilots whose
airplanes have large, easily cleaned cabins. Known as the "Cat
and Duck Method" of instrument flight, it has received much
publicity and is considered to have a great deal of merit by those
who have not tried it. No reports have been received from those
who did try it, and none are expected. Pilots are invited to assess
its merits objectively. Basic rules for the C&D Method of instrument
flight are fairly well known and are extremely simple. Here's how
it's done:
1. Place a live cat on the cockpit floor; because a cat always
remains upright. it can be used in lieu of a needle and ball.
Merely watch to see which way the cat leans to determine if a
wing is low and if so, which one.
2. The duck is used for instrument approach and landing.
Because of the fact that any sensible duck will refuse to fly under
instrument conditions, it is only necessary to hurl your duck out
of the plane and follow it to the ground.
There are some limitations to the Cat and Duck Method, but by
rigidly adhering to the following checklist, a degree of success
will be achieved which will surely startle you, your passengers,
and even an occasional tower operator.
1. Get a wide-awake cat. Most cats do not want to stand up
at all. It may be necessary to carry a large dog in the cockpit to
keep the cat at attention.
2. Make sure your cat is clean. Dirty cats will spend all their
time washing. Trying to follow a washing cat usually results in a
tight snap roll followed by an inverted spin.
3. Use old cats only. Young cats have nine lives, but old,
used-up cats with only one life left have just as much to lose as
you do and will be more dependable.
4. Beware of cowardly ducks. If the duck discovers that you
are using the cat to stay upright, it will refuse to leave without the
cat. Ducks are no better in IFR conditions than you are.
5. Be sure the duck has good eyesight. Nearsighted ducks
sometimes fail to realize that they are on the guages and go
flogging off into the nearest hill. Very nearsighted ducks will not
realize that they have been thrown out and will descend to the
ground in a sitting position. This maneuver is difficult to follow
in an airplane.
6. Use land-loving ducks. It is very discouraging to break
out and find yourself on final for a rice paddy, particularly if there
are duck hunters around. Duck hunters suffer from temporary
insanity while sitting in freezing weather in the blinds and will
shoot at anything that flies.
7. Choose your duck carefully. It is easy to confuse ducks
with geese because many water birds look alike. While they are
very competent instrument flyers, geese seldom want to go in the
same direction as you.