Prejudice at Oshkosh, Experienced: We

[eaajen]

I love aviation. I love the EAA, am EAA Life. I love "Oshkosh," what we called it even before we called it "AirVenture": thousands of planes of all kinds--every make and model known to man--hundreds of thousands of aviation enthusiasts...on miles of grass... I've come since 1987, seen Paul Poberezny driving around his in his show-converted VW Bug. He served me part of my lunch, one day in the pre-show Volunteer lunch hut. I've been to Theater in the Woods many times when they had that wonderful organ player/comedian to keep us company and warm us up before the show. I've seen Harrison Ford there twice, saw Sir Richard Branson talk to us about Virgin Galactic, saw a colonel give a seminar on the SR-71 (so my husband, Joe, and I could talk about it more fully), saw a major general talk about Area 51, seen astronauts, a real Rosie the Riviter, met Richard Bach who chatted with both of us about one of his quotes: "You're never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true." I've referred to myself now and then as Jennifer Livingston Seagull, or even Jenna Solo, feeling One with the Plane... Bringing a plane in for a landing, feeling the air, distance, altitude, slope and shape of the runway, drag on the plane, thrust...is a beautiful harmony of of physics, will, and love.

But there has also been a problem at Oshkosh, and I'm experiencing it as growing more bold in recent years.

I've volunteered a bit now and then in Oshkosh for decades, never really fitting in. I'm transsexual; I'm not obviously so for most on first impression, but people get it after a bit. I'm friendly, sometimes outgoing. I love people of all kinds and culture, greeting people in 39 languages, a hobby. I'm also a veteran and served in the NSA, NSOC, Ft. Meade, MD, a place I enjoyed very much.

But there lies below the surface with most people, at Oshkosh as well, distaste for someone like me.

Initially, in 1987, then for a couple of decades, distaste against me was present, but not terribly "in my face," so that I could ignore it or move on. But in recent years it has grown more bold. This year, it was put directly to me, slamming not only me but my husband and our marriage.

Without naming any person, this kind of thing must be known as unacceptable for Oshkosh and the EAA.

I'd been volunteering in an area for a couple of years, only a little at first (owing to my wariness), though I did help two Chairmen and institute a Donor program for the benefit of all Campers in our area. Last year I did a bit more, and I was invited back by one of the Chairmen to volunteer again. I got involved in pre-show set-up, organizing, producing a graphic depiction of camping in the area, organizing volunteer badges and orange vests...

Then another Chairman in the area, whom I'd helped before and said I would again, called me unbidden on the phone and told me that I was a sinner for being what I am, that my husband was a sinner because he'd been with me sexually, and that our marriage was a sin. I was shocked at the the time. I'd come to know that Chairman, I thought. He'd been fully aware of me for 2 years, was accepting, enjoyable. I respected his position in life and him as a person. He'd known who Joe was--and I never expected this hurtful insult. I kindly confronted him on his insult, and he "said what [he] believed," and did it again, this time in writing.

Slamming me because one doesn't like what I am is hurtful enough, but to slam Joe is way beyond. Joe Ware, my husband--together with me 22 years until his passing from Parkinson's, married to me for 17--was this man https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_F._Ware_Jr%2e He was Lockheed SkunkWorks, Dept. Manager, Engineering Flight Test over the SR-71, U-2, and many others as you might expect. He was a Right, Conservative, Christian, Elder in the Presbyterian Church...and the most decent person I've ever known. When we first met in 1989, I expected him to reject me after a period of curiosity, as is common, but over years I learned he was, instead, NOT prejudiced, a CalTech Master, slide-rule, SkunkWorks nerd with no concept of prejudice in his soul. He accepted people and had a way of nudging them toward something better by his very nature. His friends accepted me, too, such as Tony LeVier (SkunkWorks test pilot, U-2...who came to our home), Tom Morgenfeld (F-22 test pilot), Jack Real (used to work for Joe, became President of Hughes Helicopters, one of Howard Hughes' last friends), Willis Hawkins (VP of Lockheed), etc. Lockheed seems like it was a great place. Joe married me openly in his church, by his Pastor, among friends. I was his third wife; his children were by his first wife.

To say Joe was a sinner for marrying me-- That is a knife to my heart. Joe is dead and can't defend himself. People liked Joe. He had a quiet, precise nature that people listened to like EF Hutton. When he spoke, it was kind and...right. And no one can see that, now, because he's passed in 2012, but for this Chairman to say that about him is a wrong on such a deep level it is beyond civil understanding.

That crosses the line and is behavior not only unexpected but beneath the character I thought I knew of him, and of most persons I've come to know at Oshkosh. I've come to know his presentation as respectful to me prior to this was false--why false, I do not know.

And to also speak against our marriage, that meant so much to both of us. You know, Joe and I took a lot of difficulty in our marriage, and other people could not drive us apart, such was our commitment to each other.

I kindly confronted this Chairman about these hurtful comments from him. I pointed out that we need to live and let live. The EAA, like most of America, is a melting pot of different kinds of people, that we can't push religion on others, insult people for their basic being, and expect to get along, or expect the organization to thrive. Diversity sensitivity must be part of it.

I used Joe and myself as an example: He was Christian, I was/am Jewish. If we were to push our own religious tenets on the other, we could never have gotten along. But, instead, we loved each other. He had me going to Church with him out of his sense of family love, needing support, and I gladly gave it.

Joe is an example of the kind of person I think most could emulate: He was not prejudiced at all; he respected people for their actions and the content of their character--I'm proud to be one of them; he did not judge people; he did not put people down.

I did not volunteer there, and won't again, which I think was the desired outcome by the Chairman. And the thing is, all he had to do was say he didn't want me. I'd have left. The hurtful nature of this event was unneeded and stays with me.

I felt I shouldn't even come to AirVenture, which I also believe was desired, but I did. It's one of my places in life. And I did wind up doing some volunteer work with a group of ladies who, as far as I yet know, enjoyed my presence and my work.

But people: We should not use beliefs to hurt others. We could all play that game, "finding fault," as Joe was known to say. Instead, a little discretion could be used bring out the best in each other, to generate a smile, thereby showing others what is good among us.

Jenna Ware, MSW, LCSW, ATP/CFI