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Frank Giger
08-26-2011, 01:22 PM
As a very low hour Sport Pilot, I've learned a few things that I have taken to heart:

Personal minimums:

If I wouldn't pull a cart for 18 on the golf course I won't fly over it.

Landings:

There are no missed approaches, just practice ones, and they're free.
Always factor practice approaches in your fuel calculations.
Whenever two windsocks shall be placed on opposite ends of a runway they will disagree.
Smoke from trash fires trump windsocks.
In Alabama in the summer, remember that reported gusting is to be applied vertically as well as horizontally.
The only difference between a touch-and-go and a bounce-and-go on a creative wheel landing is entertainment value for the people watching.
If they didn't expect the landing lights to get hit occasionally they wouldn't make them frangible.
Trikes can ground loop; it's just almost impossible to drag a wing.
Pilots doing IFR approaches don't mind when you make them translate named positions into something meaningful.
Never assume others understand the difference between uncontrolled airspace and a post-apocalyptic world of anarchy where any pattern or approach is okay. Keep your head on a swivel.
Slipping is good for the soul.

Flying:

Whether or not one is truly lost on a cross country is directly related to how much fuel is in the tank. If you have plenty, you're just exploring alternate routes to your destination.
The sound of one's engine is directly related to the number of emergency field options.
Birds have the right of way.
If you've finally spotted the airport and there are cars driving on it, keep looking.
A tailwind enroute is Mother Nature's way of apologizing for the nasty crosswind awaiting you at your destination.
Corrolary: a headwind is her way of giving fair warning of the same.

Pre-flight:

Never approach an aircraft without visiting the bathroom first.
Asking passengers not to scream (as it is distracting while flying) during the pre-brief does not instill confidence.
Never trust air pressure in the mains from appearance.
If you didn't touch it you didn't inspect it (okay, that's an old Army thing I was taught).
If crouched, taked three steps backwards at a 45 degree angle towards the front of the aircraft before standing up.
If reported, find out which direction the wind is calming from before selecting a runway.
A loose sectional on the knee board on pre-flight is going to be collected from the floor on post flight.
The carb heat knob has a label spelled C-A-R-B. Pulling the one spelled C-A-B-I-N will fail the RPM drop test every time.
Never write a freq or other information on the inside of the hand that holds the stick.

Post flight:

Never retract a fuel hose while holding it with a bare hand unless there is a bar of Lava soap available.
Never leave a plane unchalked unless you can run three times faster than a four knot gust.
The likelihood of a four knot gust suddenly happening on a "calm" day is directly related to your distance from the aircraft.
Never get irritated by the questions from the old guys hanging around the lobby - think of it as Down Home-land Security. Besides, you can get them to take you around the patch about a third of the time in their plane if you engage them.
If you can't remember if you turned the fuel off or not, you didn't. Go back.

:P

What other gems are out there?

steveinindy
08-26-2011, 01:35 PM
Below 10,000 feet with me at the controls, there are few exceptions to the sterile cockpit rule. "Hey, is that other plane supposed to be that close?" is one of them.

Never trust a mechanic who won't go along with you on the test flight after a repair.

Just because you can under the FAR, does not mean you should. This applies to design, construction, maintenance, operations and all other aspects of flight.

Never design something in aviation for the best pilot you know.

Redundancy is your friend.

If you have the thought "I wonder if that's going to be a problem", it is and you already should have started taking corrective action.

Hal Bryan
08-26-2011, 02:32 PM
Something my dad taught me when I was just starting my flight training ages ago:

"Accidents almost never have one big cause, but several small ones. If two small things go wrong, it's best to land before the third."

The one that I've taught myself a few times over the years:

"It can happen to me."

Adam Smith
08-26-2011, 03:23 PM
The amount of water below you is directly proportional to the propensity of an engine to start running rough.

Antique Tower
08-26-2011, 05:20 PM
A true pilot never misses a chance to eat, nap or take a tinkle.

Never call home from the beach.

Never whistle while you pack your bag.

If you take a flight attendant home and put her in curlers and a flannel bathrobe she looks just like your wife.

Matt Gonitzke
08-26-2011, 06:12 PM
On my last flight with my instructor before my first solo in a C152 a few years ago, he said, "Now remember, this plane has a lot of go-arounds, but just one 'Oh sh*t'";)

Bob Meder
08-26-2011, 09:58 PM
One of mine is my signature line below.

I posted this on another site as SUS_pilot's laws of aviation instruction:

"The probability of the weather being VMC is inversely proportional to my private (or commercial) students' desire and availability to fly."

"The probability of decent IFR weather is inversely proportional to my IFR students' desire and availability to fly."

"The odds that I can swap a VFR student and an IFR student to trump the first two laws are roughly the same as hitting the Powerball."

Janet Davidson
08-27-2011, 06:24 AM
If you take a flight attendant home and put her in curlers and a flannel bathrobe she looks just like your wife

I'm going to tell your wife you said that next time I see her.... :P

Frank Giger
08-27-2011, 06:45 AM
He's right, though. I had a flight attendant wear curlers in her hair and a bathrobe and dang if she didn't look just like his wife!

;)

rosiejerryrosie
08-27-2011, 08:02 AM
This is absolutely the best thread I've read on this forum in some time! Frank, when are you going to publish your book?

Antique Tower
08-27-2011, 11:48 AM
You guys kill me. Janet go feed the guineas.

Frank Giger
08-27-2011, 11:41 PM
Between building the Nieuport and writing articles for SimHQ and getting my tailwheel cert I haven't had time to do much of anything.

A few more for the thread:

"Clear prop" is not a suggestion.
The difference between a one hundred dollar headset and a one hundred fifty dollar headset is...fifty dollars.
The difference between four dollar foam ear covers and fourteen dollar gel ones for a headset is priceless.
The more difficult the button on top of a ball cap is to remove is directly related to where it falls under the headset.
If "You have the controls" is delivered as a question the reason that your turns aren't coordinated has been solved.

Joe LaMantia
08-31-2011, 09:28 AM
Jerry You Are Right! Here's my 2 cents.

Never take-off if you have this uneasy feeling in your stomach. Maybe it's just luggage left in the car but then again, did I miss something in flight planning or pre-flight????! This happens more frequently for those of us at a certain age.

Hanger flying is way safer and cheaper then actual flying but not as much fun!

Joe

srbell
08-31-2011, 10:02 AM
It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here!

Mike M
08-31-2011, 10:50 AM
RULE 1, from my dad, a WWII US Naval Aviator: "There is NO emergency that's as bad on the ground as it was at twenty-five thousand. LAND FIRST, then make sure all the switches are in the right positions."

and it still works. buddy's engine quit (prop stopped kaCHunk) last Tuesday at 900'AGL on downwind leg. he started trying to figure out what happened and how to restart it. i offered to fly the airplane for him while he got out the checklist. after we coasted off the runway onto the parallel taxiway he found it. still couldn't restart. oh well. glad my first instructor taught me RULE 2, "don't fly wide & long patterns".

BenjaminB
09-06-2011, 04:05 PM
One of my favorites: "There are three things in aviation that are worthless to a pilot; air in the tanks, altitude above, and runway behind."

And for anyone who flies gliders: While on tow off a dirt runway you are flying IFR which in a glider means I Follow Rope. (that was one the president of the soaring club that I'm a member of said.)

Frank Giger
09-10-2011, 12:38 AM
There is no such thing as a 100 dollar hamburger; it has been replaced with the 200 dollar Snicker's bar from a vending machine. :mad:

I added to my lexicon today - "Panel frown means put it down." Champ's oil pressure was below the green at idle; it was okay low at the start of the hour of touch and goes (but definately in the green) and frowny low an hour later. Cut my solo flight short, dang it!

The quality of the coffee in the FBO is directly proportional to the conversation from the guys at the table.

rosiejerryrosie
09-11-2011, 07:01 AM
There is no such thing as a 100 dollar hamburger; it has been replaced with the 200 dollar Snicker's bar from a vending machine. :mad:

I added to my lexicon today - "Panel frown means put it down." Champ's oil pressure was below the green at idle; it was okay low at the start of the hour of touch and goes (but definately in the green) and frowny low an hour later. Cut my solo flight short, dang it!

The quality of the coffee in the FBO is directly proportional to the conversation from the guys at the table.

Bummer! Low oil pressure is something that can't usually be fixed by tightening a bolt.....

rgmwa
09-14-2011, 06:22 AM
Here's one I try to keep in mind:

`The most dangerous situation is the one you don't realise you're in.'

rgmwa